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Part Eleven

There were many possible reactions to Xander’s comment. Some of them were even the kind of decent responses that would offer comfort, reassurance and understanding. Unfortunately, Spike only rarely exhibited good impulse control and this was not one of those times. He of course blurted out the first thought that came into his head.

“Just how many paint fumes did they have you breathing in today?” Spike asked, snorting in sheer incredulity.

Xander immediately stood up, putting distance between them. His arms went across his chest, his eyebrows drew together in a frown, and he levelled a glare at Spike that was both wounded and angry.

Spike lifted both his hands in a stalling gesture, as though somehow he could physically stop Xander from coming to all the wrong conclusions.

“Okay, clearly that was not what I ought to have said. But what on earth would make you think I don’t want you?” Spike asked, completely bewildered.

“Umm, gee, I don’t know. Maybe the fact you can hardly stand to touch me?” Xander accused. “I’m not totally stupid Spike. I thought maybe that the problem was Jesse and the complete lack of privacy at the apartment, but here we are, all on our lonesome, and still nothing. The problem has to be me. You don’t want me, at least, not in a sex having kind-of way.”

“Would you stop saying that? Xander, I might have slowed things down with us earlier, but that’s because you weren’t ready, luv. You got so scared; I could feel you shaking. And that’s alright; it’s understandable even. You were attacked, and I don’t mind waiting for you to be sure. I want to do this right.”

“The only demon that has me terrified is you, Spike!” The comment seemed to burst out of Xander without his consent, but once it had, he went ahead with it. “I look at you and I see someone so… so very not-me, and I think about the people you’ve been with: Druscilla, a hundred year obsession; Buffy, who never looked twice at me, and… and Anya. Not to mention all those others who got mesmerized by your cheekbones and all, and I wonder if I’ll ever measure up. So I guess you were right about me being scared. I was scared shitless that you were going to reject me, because things this good? They don’t happen to me. Guess I really called that one, huh?”

“Get this through your head! I didn’t reject you. I. Want. You.” Spike stated vehemently, standing up and snarling. It was only when he saw Xander’s eyes widen slightly that he realized he had slipped into game face. He concentrated on getting himself back under control though the growling continued regardless.

“I can’t read your bloody mind, you know. The only thing I knew for sure was that you were seconds from stroking-out, so I stopped. Damned if I ever try to do the right thing again, it just bollixes things up,” Spike muttered.

An uncomfortable silence formed once more, as they both tried to calm down enough to think rationally. Neither one of them could afford to say something that might jeopardize the discussion they were finally having. It was clear that they needed to reach some kind of understanding or they risked losing everything they had.

“Spike,” Xander began, this time much softer voiced, “I do appreciate the time you’ve given me. You let me sort things out, get my head together and gave me enough space to make a real choice. Nobody has ever offered me that before.”

That much was obvious. Cordelia manhandling him into closets, Anya with her strip of condoms, and that wasn’t even touching on mummy-girls, bug-women and demon-impregnators.

“But the fact is that I’m ready. And I’ve been ready for what seems like a hell of a long time now. I’ve read the magazines, bought the lube and drunk the damned pineapple juice. And you might not be able to read my mind, but if you wanted me, I mean really, really, wanted me, then you would have noticed just how ready I am. Don’t you think it’s time you asked yourself why you didn’t?”

Spike felt unsteady, like the world was rearranging itself under his feet. Xander had to be mistaken, that’s all there was to it. Except, thinking back, there did appear to be a pattern. Every time they’d had the opportunity for a more physical relationship, it was Spike that had cooled things off, often not even waiting to reach the point where Xander might be uncomfortable. He’d always rationalized it; thinking that he was pushing too fast, that Xander wasn’t ready, or that Xander was pretending to be ready just to please Spike. Yet it now seemed that Xander had been completely willing; how had Spike missed those rather obvious signs? More importantly, why had he missed them?

Hadn’t he been waiting for this moment almost from the beginning?

A sick feeling of dread pooled in his stomach and started to spread. There was one truth he couldn’t avoid: he was behaving out of character in his relationship with Xander, and had been right from the start. When had he last let reason keep him from following through on his instincts? Could it really mean that he wasn’t physically attracted to Xander?

The same utter disbelief in such an idea that had prompted his earlier inappropriate outburst came hammering immediately to the forefront of his brain.

“No,” Spike mumbled to himself. He looked at Xander and repeated himself emphatically as though Xander had heard his inner dialogue, “No.”

“Um, is that good?”

“I’m attracted to you Xander. That’s the absolute truth. There’s definitely nothing wrong on that front,” Spike insisted, giving Xander a gratifyingly lascivious look-over.

“But if you want me, why aren’t you, um, having me?” Xander asked, almost shyly.

Spike sighed as he reached up to touch Xander’s face. “I’m not totally sure,” Spike admitted, hating the crestfallen look on Xander’s face. “Let’s just sit for a bit, yeah? Need to figure this out before you get any more funny ideas.”

Xander nodded slowly, turning to sit on the bed. Spike however didn’t like the idea of there being an entire mattress of space for Xander to withdraw into. He directed them to the ubiquitous hotel room chair instead, and somehow managed to sit down with Xander facing him, straddling his lap, despite the smallish proportions of the chair.

Xander’s knees were wedged between the seat-cushion and the chair-frame, his feet hanging off the edge awkwardly, and only by pressing his hips and chest against Spike’s could he hope for any sort of stability. In short, for the touch-starved Xander, it was the perfect position.

Spike seemed to feel the same way. He remained quiet for a time, brushing his hands through Xander’s hair and down his back rhythmically, always looking unwaveringly back into Xander’s hopeful expression. Though outwardly he appeared peaceful, inside ideas and theories were being created and dismissed with alarming speed. It had only taken a few seconds to determine that he was indeed attracted to Xander. He only had to visualize Xander in a towel for that particular proof. The problem was clearly mental then. What was holding him back?

“Xander, I think maybe it was me that wasn’t ready.”

“Yeah, we all know how much consideration you put into your prospective partners. How did Buffy seduce you again? Punched you in the face?”

Spike bit back a defensive retort, understanding that Xander was speaking out of hurt.

“I meant that I don’t think I’m ready for sex with you.”

The reaction was negative and instantaneous. Spike sighed quietly as he automatically restricted Xander’s equally automatic flight response. At least Spike’s idea to use the chair and make Xander his captive audience was working out; it was much easier to keep hold of Xander this time. And Spike was going to keep on holding tightly until he had finally made Xander understand exactly what was going on.

“Not to be a complete ass or anything, but isn’t that what I said at the beginning of all this? A fact you keep denying, I might add,” Xander said petulantly, when he realized escape was impossible. Inspiration suddenly struck Xander, “Is this because I’m a guy? Like, you could get with Harmony and Buffy and them easy because they were girls? I thought you were all been-there, done-that, but if you’ve never been with a guy before…”

“Oi! I’ve been with other men before. Lots of men; hundreds of ‘em. Who do think you’re talking to?” Spike asked, scandalized.

Xander almost chortled at how affronted Spike sounded. “Um, Spike? Just to let you know, usually when you’re trying to convince someone to sleep with you? You don’t mention the other hundred or so people you’ve done the nasty with.”

“Why not?” Spike asked. “Bloody stupid, that is. How else you going to know if they’re any good? You humans, I just don’t get where your ideas come from.”

This time, Xander did laugh because it was just such a Spike thing to get annoyed about. Spike continued to huff indignantly long past any real feeling of injury because it was making Xander smile, and the more Xander smiled, the less tense they both became.

“I’m not very experienced; not at all with men,” Xander admitted, feeling safe enough to offer another one of his doubts.

Spike squeezed Xander. “Doesn’t matter. And I may have stretched the truth a little. There have been a few blokes, but most of them were other vampires, and it didn’t usually have much to do with pleasure. Can’t rightly remember if I’ve ever been with a human male before. I’m a bit scared I’ll hurt you.”

Xander made a somewhat rude noise clearly meant to express how ludicrous he thought that idea was.

“I might be human, Spike, but I’m not exactly fragile. See my recent nine months of pregnancy for corroboration.”

“Didn’t say it was logical,” Spike said.

“Get to the part where you explain why you’re ready for sex with everyone but me, and if you could throw in why I shouldn’t be insulted by that, I’d very much appreciate it.”

“Demanding little thing aren’t you? And haven’t you pieced it together yet? Harmony, Buffy, even your Anya, that was sudden lust satisfied. Even with Buffy, where there were some feelings on the line, at least on my part, there was no hesitating because I knew that if it was going to happen, it had to happen right away, or she’d change her mind,” Spike said, shrugging it off as unimportant.

“Umm, still insecure and still confused here,” Xander interjected. “I don’t inspire lusty feelings then?”

Spike growled, “You need to stop thinking like that.”

“Well, I don’t understand what you’re getting at!” Xander returned.

“You’re special, damn it! I don’t want you to be just someone I fucked once. I don’t want to be your little ‘moment of insanity’. I know you’ve been hurt and I know you haven’t had your fair share of good times, and Xander if you only knew how bad I want to change that…” Spike sighed. “It’s true that I’ve had more than a few encounters in my past, Xan, but very few of them meant something. I’d really like for our time together to mean something; I need it to mean something. Because you… You matter to me.”

“Oh,” Xander said, stunned into stillness. The stillness quickly fled, replaced with minute trembling as Xander leaned back and saw that Spike believed every word he had said. Then Xander was kissing Spike, lips and tongue quivering. His shaky hands grabbed onto Spike’s shoulders, fingers twitching and grabbing. He leaned back periodically to look Spike in the eyes and to exclaim little ‘ohs’ of wonder before delving into further deep kisses.

“I don’t think I’ve ever mattered to anyone before,” Xander said waveringly, when he could speak past the lump in his throat. Xander’s look of adoration made Spike want to preen. “Of course, only you could tell a guy you don’t want to have sex by giving him the best compliment he has ever in his life received, thereby making said guy want to have sex far more than before.”

Spike opened his mouth to comment, and then shut it again. Damn it! He’d managed to turn yet another one of his plans into some kind-of paradox.

“Don’t suppose I could convince you that you’re special and still have both of us wind up naked tonight, could I?”

“As if. A hotel room, Spike? I matter, didn’t you know that?” Xander teased. Taking pity on Spike’s stricken face, Xander leaned in and proceeded to nibble his way up to Spike’s ear, whispering huskily. “Of course there are things we could do that would still have you respecting me in the morning.”

“Oh definitely,” Spike agreed. “I’m full up on respect. I respect your intelligence, your mind, your ass…”

Xander’s breathy giggles were swallowed up by Spike’s tongue, as Spike attempted to join them permanently at the mouth. Noses bumped and teeth clacked, and all Xander could think to do was to push harder, get closer. Spike’s hands were under Xander’s shirt, sliding and pressing on the firm muscles he encountered, eventually managing to get Xander’s upper body bare.

The chair creaked as Spike fought to get a look at what he’d uncovered. He only got a glimpse of smooth flesh before Xander was pressing up against him again, and Spike’s face was buried in the curve of Xander’s neck. Spike licked and caressed the delicate skin under Xander’s ear.

“Can’t believe you thought I didn’t want you. Can’t you see what you do to me? Can’t you feel it?” Spike murmured, with a twitch of his hips.

A low groan came from Xander and the groping of his hands became a little more frenetic, a little less gentle. Xander could indeed feel how hard Spike had become, could feel his own erection pressing tightly against his zipper. They couldn’t thrust much, but they were pressing into each other tightly enough that even the minute movements they were capable of provided substantial friction.

“Think about you all the time, luv. Naked, and hard, and waiting for me on our bed.”

This time Xander’s groan came accompanied with a whimper. Spike’s hands found their way to Xander’s hips, his thumbs sliding under the edge of Xander’s waistband to stroke at the sensitive skin there.

“You’re afraid of how little experience you have, but you and me, we’ll get our own rhythm, like we got going now, and we’ll move so sweetly together, Xander, so perfectly.”

Xander was grabbing awkwardly at Spike’s ass, encouraging more thrusting. Xander was so hard he thought he might do himself permanent damage unless he came soon. With that in mind, he wriggled, and thrust, and squeezed until he was sure Spike was just as desperate for relief as he was.

“Bet you have a beautiful cock, Xan. Can’t wait to see what it looks like in my hand, against my body. And you’re big too, I can tell,” Spike gasped, unable to articulate himself any longer. Considering he didn’t need to breathe, he sure was panting hard.

Xander rocked himself against Spike, tiny little shocks of pleasure shooting up his spine. His mouth sought Spike’s again, knowing he wouldn’t last much longer. He felt Spike thrust up with enough force to nearly knock them from the chair, and then he was coming, and Spike was too, and oh, it was better than he’d thought it could ever be. He felt safe, he felt wanted, and for a few brief moments there, he really had felt special.

They had two or three minutes of being slumped together on the chair before the awkward position started to become noticeable.

Xander lifted his head from its resting place on Spike’s shoulder, grinning softly.

“I need to get my money back from the amusement park that came to town last year,” Xander said.

Spike was still rather dazed, and he could only blink in question at the odd statement.

“They said it was the most fun you could have with your clothes on. They are so wrong,” Xander said, gesturing at their bodies, which for the most part were still covered.

“Git,” Spike replied fondly. He stroked Xander’s face again, loving the heavy lidded look that had come over Xander’s face, and then lightly kissed Xander’s swollen lips.

Xander shifted, wanting more, but then he grimaced at the way his jeans felt against him. He just had to go without underwear tonight, didn’t he?

“Alright then luv. Best get cleaned up. I have to wear these jeans again tomorrow. Would have brought a spare set, but seeing as how I’ve not come in my jeans since, well, ever, I figured I wouldn’t need to.”

“Good to know I can make you lose control,” Xander said cheekily. “I myself did bring another pair of jeans, so I won’t be totally humiliated on set tomorrow. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the fact that I will have to have a third shower tonight. Good thing it’s not my water bill. Oh, and by the way? I’m stuck in this chair.”

“You’re stuck?”

“Yes indeedy. In particular, my knees seem to have grown fond of the metal springs and no longer wish to be separated.”

Spike rolled his eyes and went to stand up. He couldn’t. He tried to lift Xander off his lap, but that didn’t work either. He tried shifting them off the seat but that only seemed to suck them in further. A few more jerks and bounces later, and Xander was groaning again, only this time it was in irritation.

“Trust you to find the only demonic chair in the whole state,” Spike muttered, only partially kidding. One never knew with Xander. “On the count of three, okay pet?”

A spectacular heave got Spike onto his feet, with the chair and Xander still stuck. One last jump, however, and the chair succumbed to gravity with a loud thump. Xander gave a whoop of delight at being liberated, lost his precarious balance, fell, and pulled Spike along with him.

There was a dazed moment of silence followed quickly by snickering which soon led to the both of them being stretched out on the floor, laughing hysterically. It lasted longer than the situation maybe warranted, but it was only to be expected after so much emotional upheaval.

When they had calmed down sufficiently, Xander rolled himself over until he was close enough to Spike to kiss him.

“My hero,” he grinned.

Spike returned both the smile and the kiss, before dragging them to their feet.

“Time to get cleaned up.”

“Uh uh, don’t want another shower. I’ll get water rash or something,” Xander protested.

Spike shrugged and started running a washcloth under warm water at the sink. “As you wish.”

Xander laughed again, “I knew it! I knew you’d be the first to use that line! You are so busted now, you romantic softie you!”

“Hey! No need to be calling me names.”

“Just answer this: are there going to be rose petals on satin sheets, candles, and Barry Manilow when we really get down to it?”

“Tell a man you think he’s special, and just look how you pay and pay and pay. And I don’t even like Barry, do I?” Spike mumbled, flushing as much as his vampire nature would allow. “Besides, not like we need all that stuff, unless that’s what you want…”

“Nah, I was only teasing. I’m all on board with the whole ‘right’ time and not just ‘convenient’ time thing, really. Just reminding you that despite the fact that I’ve given birth, I’m not a woman. I’ve still got a penis,” Xander said intently.

“Good,” Spike replied. “Now drop your pants.”

“Uh, you can trust me. I check every day; my penis is definitely still there.”

“Said you didn’t want to shower again,” Spike said, waggling the wet washcloth in front of Xander’s face.

Xander reached for the cloth but Spike wouldn’t relinquish it.

“Um, have I mentioned that I’m not wearing any underwear?” Xander asked, flushing far more than Spike had moments ago.

From the lascivious grin Xander got in response, Xander deduced that Spike thought this was especially fortunate. Xander gulped.

“I’m going to be taking care of you, luv, from now on. So let’s undress, wash, and then go to bed, yeah? Have you looking perky for tomorrow.”

“So you’ll wash me, and what, I wash you?”

“If you want.”

“Is this like the grown-up version of ‘I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours’? Because I was taught to ‘just say no’ to that,” Xander babbled, as his hands fumbled on the button of his jeans. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to strip or cover up more; if he was excited at the thought of seeing Spike and Spike seeing him or just scared. For some reason, this simple wash-up was feeling more intimate than the actual orgasm that had started everything.

“Been wanting to see you naked for a long time, luv. Need to fill in some spaces in my imaginings. Besides, got to keep us moving forward because I don’t want to have another misunderstanding like we had tonight; don’t want to be scared like that ever again. Can’t have you thinking I don’t want to be with you, in every way I can be.”

Xander let out the breath he’d been holding, and bent at the waist to untie his shoes. He removed his socks, and stood up to undo his jeans. The jeans slipped down of their own accord, and he stepped out of them, kicking them aside slightly. He stood there, completely naked, head bowed so that he was looking at Spike through the fringes of his too-long hair.

Spike couldn’t help it when his gaze zeroed in on the one part of Xander he’d never gotten a good look at. He resisted the urge to whistle, barely, and instead stepped forward with the cloth and gently cleaned the warm, slightly sticky skin. He was standing close enough that he could hear Xander’s shallow, careful breathing. He poked Xander in the stomach to break the sudden solemnity that had formed.

“Geez, just because you’re without body heat, does that mean you can’t use hot water?” Xander groused.

“Was warm when I first offered. You were the one doing the whole blushing-virgin routine. Don’t know why either, as you’re not a virgin and you have a very nice…”

“Okay and moving right along before we both forget that nothing else is happening tonight,” Xander interrupted. “I believe it’s your turn to be flapping in the breeze.”

Spike raised his scarred eyebrow and ran a tongue over his lips. He lost the shirt in a move that Xander could never hope to imitate, but the boots slowed him down somewhat. Spike teased a little with the belt, removing it completely before letting it slither to the floor. Next was the fly of his jeans, button by button. The jeans were shucked smoothly, leaving only a black pair of boxer-briefs. Spike pulled the waistband out and looked down, looked across at Xander again, and considered. Xander was bigger, but not so much so that Spike was going to worry about it. Besides, he’d have his hands on both soon enough. With that, he stripped completely and put his hands on his hips, waiting expectantly.

Xander allowed himself a quick look, enough to get intrigued by foreskin, before looking up and slightly to the left while he ran the re-warmed cloth over Spike’s body. No sense in tempting fate.

With that done, they grinned at each other, Spike lightly slapped Xander’s ass, Xander punched Spike in the shoulder, and then they raced to the bed, where they pulled the covers up tightly around themselves, and fell asleep listening to the radio.

Spike slept fitfully, awaking often to make sure that Xander was still there, that the fight hadn’t resulted in one of them walking out the door. Of course, after assuring that Xander was snoring away where he belonged, Spike couldn’t resist peeling back the blankets for another look at Xander naked. He rationalized that if they were going to hold off on anything too physical, then he would need the visuals more than ever. He was just settling the blankets after his latest ogling, when he realized that this time his actions hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Two amused and knowing brown eyes blinked at him, and Spike quickly initiated a kiss in order to prevent whatever wisecrack Xander was sure to make. When Xander was sufficiently out of breath, Spike leaned back on an elbow, and considered the face before him. The similarity between Xander and Jesse was really quite impressive, though Xander’s expression was often guarded, hardened from too many bad experiences. The kind of experiences Spike was going to make damn sure that Jesse never learned of first hand.

“Hey, Spike. It’s Sunday morning, and we’re naked in bed with a whole…” Xander checked the alarm clock on the bedside table, “Two hours until I have to be ready. This is a good thing. Happy, light-hearted thoughts only please; no brooding allowed.”

“I wasn’t brooding,” Spike replied immediately. A wicked smile formed on his face. “Happy thoughts only huh? Well then, can I ask what you meant last night when you said you’d ‘read the magazines’? Just what kind-of magazines are we talking about, Xan? They wouldn’t be naughty ones would they? And if so, how come you haven’t shared?”

Xander blushed, and tried to prevaricate but Spike was not about to let the topic go. Xander ended up telling Spike all about his trips to the library and his one venture into the adult bookstore. Through careful manipulation, Spike also got Xander to agree to share when they got home.

“One more thing: you said you’d read the magazines, and got the lube, well, that all makes sense, but you said something about juice?”

Xander’s flush, which had been fading fast up to this point, returned in force and turned the very tips of his ears red.

“Ah, pineapple juice. Yeah, I did say that, didn’t I? I can’t believe you remember.”

“I’ve a curious nature is all. And you’ve a lovely blush which means I’m going to like this little tidbit of information, so spill already.”

“Well, when I was with Anya, she read in one of her magazines that drinking fruit juice, pineapple juice in particular, well it, um, makes you taste better.”

“Taste better? Well, I guess if you really liked pineapple…”

“It won’t make you taste like pineapple exactly, just sort-of sweeter.”

Spike slid his lips over Xander’s and pushed his tongue into Xander’s welcoming mouth. Spike investigated teeth, tongue, and palate, then drew back to consider.

“You seem plenty sweet to me, luv,” Spike said smugly.

“Uh, yeah. Guess it works then,” Xander replied, squirming slightly.

“Wait a minute why is that embarrassing? Out with it already, what aren’t you telling me?”

Xander considered not explaining, but then Spike threatened to tickle him and it was all over.

“Okay, okay. It doesn’t make your mouth taste sweeter. Or it does, but that’s not why Anya was buying it by the gallon,” Xander explained. Spike gestured for Xander to get to the point already. Xander sighed: “It supposedly makes semen less bitter.”

Spike stared at Xander’s blushing face incredulously. “It makes come sweeter? Really?”

“God, I thought when Anya left that these sex related humiliations would end. Apparently though she can do that from anywhere,” Xander groaned, grabbing a pillow and burying his face behind it.

The blankets shifted and before Xander could put any consideration into what that meant, there was a wet tongue running up the side of his previously disinterested cock. Xander gave a startled yelp which only made Spike chuckle and lick again. In an instant, the covers were thrown back and Xander looked down at Spike, attempting to appear stern. Spike gazed back; trying to appear innocent, which wasn’t easy considering his face was so close to Xander’s slowly unfurling length.

“I thought we were going to wait? And I’m so not complaining by the way.”

“Guess it comes down to whether or not you think a blowjob is sex or not,” Spike said, nipping at the tender skin on the inside of Xander’s thigh, looking completely unrepentant when Xander mewled.

“Suddenly I feel very strongly that a blowjob isn’t sex, which is strange since I don’t think that was my opinion before,” Xander gibbered, his fingers tightening in the sheets as Spike completed a more thorough lick from base to tip.

“Well if that’s how you feel, you won’t mind if I do this…” Spike trailed off as he took the head of Xander’s cock into his mouth and sucked delicately. Xander’s hips rose slightly off the bed in an abortive move to try and get deeper into that mouth. Spike easily held Xander down and continued to explore, using all his considerable oral skills. Soon he was swallowing deep again, groaning at the pulse and throb of the warm length between his lips.

Xander could do little besides pant and hiss every time Spike touched one of his more sensitive spots. And Xander was a hell of a lot more sensitive than he ever remembered being before. When he could muster the energy, Xander angled his head off the pillow to stare down his body at Spike. Spike’s eyes were closed and his cheeks were hollowed out, making Spike’s features seem even more sharply defined than normal. Xander’s wet length appeared every now and then from between red, spit-slick lips, and it was easily one of the most erotic things Xander had ever seen.

Spike moaned quietly, thrusting gently against the bed, and Xander came to realize that Spike had spared one of his hands to deal with his own arousal. The idea of Spike hard and desperate for relief just from what he was doing made Xander’s release imminent. He considered giving warning, but by then it was too late and he came in a rush.

When the last of Xander’s muscles had relaxed, and he could think beyond ‘yes, yes, Oh God, yes’, he smiled down at Spike dopily. Spike was ensuring that he hadn’t missed a single drop of the warm fluid through careful, soft licks to Xander’s spent member. Eventually, he had to admit it was all gone, and he dragged himself up until he was level with Xander once more.

“Great googly-moogly.”

Spike grinned, “Well, it was only right. You went to all that trouble to make me something sweet, seems the least I could do was to have a taste.”

“And? Survey says?”

“Well, so far I’ve tasted your blood, which is heady and damn near intoxicating, and your mouth,” Spike gave Xander a deep kiss, “which is like wet sugar, melting on my tongue. I’d have to say your come was nearly as sweet, and twice as rich; could feel it sliding warm and thick down my throat. Bet there isn’t a single part of you which isn’t a nummy treat.”

Xander’s eyes were beginning to glaze over at Spike’s descriptions, but the last comment made him snigger: “I can think of one area that’s probably not so delicious.”

Spike’s hand slipped around to squeeze Xander’s bare butt cheek. “Guess we’ll have to test that out at some point, won’t we?”

Xander merely nodded, the idea too intense for a mind still floating in post-orgasmic bliss. They were quiet for a moment, letting their hands and fingers roam over each other’s bodies, not quite willing to give up their closeness just yet. Xander slid his hands down Spike’s torso, and wrapped them gently around Spike’s still hard cock.

“Is this okay?” Xander asked. “I’d use my mouth, but that’s going to take a little more concentration and energy than I have now, thanks to your impressive sucking skills. Want to do a good job, when it happens.”

Spike’s eyes were all but rolling back in his head as Xander expertly fondled him. Spike hadn’t expected reciprocation; after a night like the one they had had, an early morning, and a pretty spectacular orgasm, he’d expected Xander to fall asleep again pretty quickly. Still, he was nothing if not adaptable as those large, hot hands caressed him intimately without any of the nervousness from previous times. While one of Xander’s hands maintained a steady up and down stroke, the other touched the inside of Spike’s thighs, felt the weight of his balls, slid over the delicate skin behind, pressed… Spike came hard with a surprised look on his face. Xander only grinned. Okay, so he might be inexperienced when it came to most things they’d be doing, but at least he knew a whole lot about jerking-off.

The first thing Spike saw when his vision cleared was Xander lifting a sticky hand to his face. The sight of Xander giving an experimental lick to his fingers was enough to make Spike groan.

Xander contemplated the flavour a moment. “Hmm, needs pineapple juice.”

There was no way Spike could let that smug, teasing comment pass without some retaliation. He pounced on Xander, fingers at the ready, tickling for all he was worth. Xander’s howling laughter nearly drowned out the wake-up call that came and reminded both of them that Xander still had a rather important day to prepare for.

“Do you want to take the car? I can find a ride with someone easy; all of the out-of-towners on the show are staying here.”

“Yeah alright, I’ll take your phone, just give me a ring when you wrap-up and I’ll come get you,” Spike replied, good mood dulling slightly with the knowledge that their trip was already at an end.

Xander was similarly a little downcast. “Then it’s back to Sunnydale and work on Monday.” He immediately brightened at who would be there to greet them. “And Jesse.”

“Yeah. I bet little Munchie was so busy getting spoiled rotten he never even noticed we were gone.”

“Sounds likely,” Xander agreed. With a sigh he got out of bed and started getting himself ready for the day.

Spike pulled the blankets up over his head and considered going back to sleep, but was soon brought out of his doze by Xander shaking his shoulder.


“Yes, luv?”

“I just wanted to say thanks. You know, for last night, and for this morning,” Xander said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Was a bit of alright, wasn’t it?” Spike said with a knowing tilt of his head.

“This weekend could have gone a lot of ways, but after a shaky start it went better than I could have hoped. So I just wanted to say thanks, okay?”

“I loved it to,” Spike said, pulling Xander into a kiss. “Now get out of here.”

Xander smiled, and kept right on smiling throughout the day, barely able to pay attention to anyone or anything, his happiness was so complete. Fortunately, the producers and those involved with the show must have decided that happy and satiated was a good look for him, because they offered him a contract at the end of the day. Xander signed, pleased with his performance, and collected his cheque for the past two days of ‘work’. The amount on the cheque made Xander’s eyes bulge, but he managed to get to the parking lot before breaking into a snoopy dance.

On the trip back to Sunnydale, Xander kept up a steady stream of excited chatter, and Spike kept repeating how proud he was. They only really calmed down when the Magic Box came into view, and that was only so they wouldn’t frighten Jesse and the others with their excessive moods.

“Hey everyone, take a last look at the man who was once your friend, for soon he shall be a television personality and will thus be beyond the reach of all you little non-celebrity people,” Xander announced loudly.

“Okay, but remember that if you leave, you won’t get to have your life put in jeopardy, your clothes won’t get covered in pungent goo, and your manliness won’t be questioned with every girly-scream uttered,” Buffy sing-songed.

“Gee when you put it like that…”

“Only kidding. Like we’d ever let you leave, especially now that you’re going to be famous. That is so cool!”

“Welcome back, Xander!” Willow chirped, giving her friend a quick hug and an assessing look. He didn’t look at all like someone who had been near tears just yesterday evening. “You look happy, that’s good. You had me worried, mister.”

Xander flushed, realizing he probably should have called Willow once things between him and Spike had gotten straightened out. He was about to apologize when Dawn and Tara entered the main room. Tara had Jesse in the baby carrier, and he was obviously fast asleep.

Dawn grinned at Xander, and cast a slyer look at Spike.

“You both look pretty happy. Got lucky, huh?”

“Dawn!” Buffy chastised.

“What? Oh, like we’re not all thinking it,” Dawn replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes and appear too immature for the conversation.

Buffy sputtered; too many things she wanted to say all at once making it impossible to speak.

“Not that it is any of your business, but I didn’t get lucky, as you so put it, so there,” Xander said primly. It was almost the truth and more than Dawn needed to hear at any rate. He couldn’t resist adding, however, “I matter, didn’t you know?”

He turned and shared a grin with Spike, oblivious to the ‘aren’t they cute?’ expressions on his female friend’s faces.

“Right, enough of that. Where’s my boy? He been good? Did you have any trouble getting him to sleep? Has he had dinner yet?” Spike rattled off the questions, not bothering to listen to any of the replies: he would ascertain the truth for himself as to whether or not Jesse had been well looked after.

Tara, who had done the majority of the actual caring for the baby, assured Spike and Xander that Jesse had been very well behaved and had just finished drinking his evening bottle and had had his diaper recently changed.
Spike carefully retrieved the baby, and tried to keep him from waking. As he carried him over to Xander, however, Jesse began to stir, seeming to know that his usual caretakers were home from wherever they had been. Large eyes opened and looked at Spike, a smile breaking out. He turned his head and started waving out at Xander with one chubby arm.

“Da,” Jesse said. Everyone in the room seemed to freeze, wondering if they could have heard what they thought they had, and if it meant anything more than Jesse’s usual senseless babble. Spike had stopped walking, and Jesse frowned to note he was still not within reach of Xander. He reached out a little more imperiously, demanding: “Da. Da-E.”

Still not quite believing it, Xander gathered Jesse up and held him so that they were face-to-face. “Did you just say daddy?”

Jesse’s face blossomed once more into a wide smile, reaching out to tap Xander’s nose. “Da-E. Dad-E.”

“He did! I’m not crazy, right? He’s saying daddy?” Xander asked, needing corroboration.

“Bloody right, he is. Couldn’t make it any clearer, could he?”

“Oh, he’s so cute!” squealed Dawn, uncaring if it was immature or not anymore. This was not the time to appear unaffected.

“Wow, he’s so smart! Such a clever boy, yes he is,” Willow said, falling into baby-talk towards the end of her sentence.

While all the adults (and near adults) broke into excited chatter, Jesse happily repeated his version of daddy over and over, delighted that the attention being paid to him had yet to fade.

“Can you say Dawn? Huh, can you? Dawn, Dawn, it’s just one syllable, same beginning as daddy,” Dawn encouraged, but Jesse’s gaze slid away from hers, uncomprehending.

“Hey, his second word is going to be Spike, isn’t it? Come on, say Spike,” Spike tried.

“I think Spike might be a bit tough for him just yet,” Xander said gently.

“For an average kid, maybe, but Jesse’s different. Now, I’m your favourite pal, Spike, so say Spike.”

Spike at least had Jesse’s attention, and he had stopped saying daddy for the moment, but there was no other word forthcoming. Spike thought a moment.

“You can call me Will, that’s my other name. Can you say Will?”

Jesse blinked. “Dad-E,” he replied, and Spike’s hopeful expression faded a bit, though he was still pretty proud of Jesse.

“That’s a good boy; we’ll get to the rest later yeah? You just practice saying daddy,” said Spike.

Jesse looked up at Xander adoringly, “Dad-E, Dad-E.” He then shifted, sticking a finger into his mouth to suck on. A few moments of contemplating his finger and he jabbed the clammy digit into Spike’s face. “Ill.”

Spike thought for a moment that his heart had started to beat.

Author's Note: And, yes, it’s a little early for Jesse to be talking- though my timeline isn’t very exact – but, hey this is a partially demonic child, birthed by a man, being raised by a vampire, so if this is the point you’re stuck on? I’d be a little worried, lol


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