Disclaimer: Not my characters.
Notes: Written for aimeelicious in willshenillshe's Spikeslashficathon. Thanks you to swmbo and ladycat777 for the beta.
Spike got frustrated with the Rubik's cube and took all the tiny little colored sticker squares off and reattached them. For a second, Xander actually thought his boyfriend was a fucking genius, or an idiot savant or something, until a bright green sticker flaked off and stuck to his thumb. He ended up glaring at Spike, and Spike looked at him all innocent-like, as if he hadn't just cheated. Xander decided not to say anything, because really, it was just a stupid Rubik's cube, and there was a lot more evil stuff a soulless vampire could be doing with his time.
Xander likes to think of it as compromise. He lets Spike cheat at Monopoly and leave the cap off the toothpaste, and Spike doesn't get too pissy when Xander eats Spike's last chocolate Poptart. (Even if Spike does shoot him dirty looks when he doesn't have any to dip in his blood in the morning.)
Xander turns a blind eye when Spike shoplifts twenty bottles of Midol PMS and sticks them in Buffy's weapon bag, and Spike says thank you by giving Xander a blowjob that lasts. Hey, Xander's got stamina, he likes that his boyfriend doesn't have to breathe.
All this compromise does not lead to all-singing-all-dancing domestic bliss, however. Spike's hair product clogs the sink every Tuesday and Friday, just like clockwork, and Spike complains that Xander intentionally picked the curtains that never lay flat against the window, always letting in the 'sodding deadly sunlight'.
Sometimes, when the bickering gets especially bad, Xander is about to break a chair over Spike's head and then stake him with one of the broken legs, and Spike is threatening to get the chip out and chain Xander up and teach him a little respect.
"Bloody hell, Xander, you sound like a screeching harpy! 'Load the dishwasher, Spike'," he mocks. "'Don't clean the weapons in the bathtub' and 'Wipe your boots off, you're tracking mud all over the place!' Do I whinge to you when you leave your toenail clippings on the bathroom floor where I step on them? Or when I can't find the toenail clippers, for that matter?"
"Oh, god," Xander says in a horrified voice.
"Do I cry like a baby when you eat the very last of the Frosted Mini Wheats, even though they're my favorite cereal?"
"Oh, god, we've become my parents."
Spike gets this affronted look, like Xander just handed him hamster blood for his evening meal. Narrows his eyes in a way that lets Xander know he's thinking.
"What?" Xander says impatiently.
"We're not your bloody parents."
"We are. Just listen to us!"
Spike presses him down against the couch, puts his weight on him, glares down at him. "We bloody well aren't," he growls, and lunges for Xander's throat.
Xander freezes; sometimes he forgets that his boyfriend is an actual vampire, fangs and neck fetish and all.
But Spike doesn't take a chunk out of him, just licks a long, wet stripe from collarbone to jawline. Moves up and speaks against Xander's mouth. "We aren't."
"Huh?" Xander says.
Spike's hands are fast and his fingers are nimble enough to unzip and unbutton Xander's fly one-handed and within seconds. So fast, in fact, that Xander doesn't even know it's happening until Spike's hand is curled around his cock just like that, and Xander's fighting off a moan.
"Not your bloody parents," Spike says again. Squeezes just a little, enough to make Xander buck up into his hand.
Xander smiles then, a slow, lazy grin. "Are you trying to get out of an argument here? Because I can keep going." He tugs on Spike's teeshirt, pulling it off with a little cooperation.
"Shut up, brat," Spike says. He licks his bottom lip and starts sliding Xander's khakis down off his hips.
Lifting up and letting Spike take his pants off, Xander just looks at him, grinning some more. "Always wanting to watch those damn nature shows on the Discovery Channel, even when it's only stupid penguins on ..."
Spike covers Xander's mouth with his palm and spreads his legs. "Said shut up, boy," Spike says.
It's a giggle that tries to escape from behind Spike's hand. Xander knows it but won't admit it, because giggling is damn unmanly.
Then Spike is licking his cock, grinning up at him while Xander tries to maintain his glare.
"Do I complain," Spike says in between licks, "When you want," lick "to keep that damn," lick "ugly," lick "germ-infested pillow of yours?" lick, lick, lick
The hand falls away from Xander's mouth as Spike takes him in and swallows, tight, flexing throat around the head of his cock.
"My favorite pillow," Xander manages to gasp out. His hands move to rest on Spike's head but he resists the urge to push or to buck up into that talented mouth. He just lets Spike work his magic, biting his lip so hard he can taste blood.
And then there is blinding light, because Xander's got his eyes clenched tight, trying to hold off coming, because this is so good. But he can't hold off because when Spike wants him to come, he doesn't have much of a choice.
Spike swallows him down, licks him clean. Slides up his body to lap at his jaw, his slightly slack, goofily grinning mouth.
"Love you," Spike whispers, settling beside Xander and pulling him into his arms. "We're nothing like your parents. We bicker, we snark at each other, but that just comes with Forever, pet."
Xander turns so he can look at Spike, his face so close and sincere. He still gets a thrill from hearing Spike talk like this.
"I love you, too," he says, and he wonders if Spike has any idea how much the words don't give the feelings in his heart the justice they deserve.
"Well, all right then," Spike says. He kisses Xander's forehead. "You just have yourself a little nap, and when you wake up you can get on your hands and knees and show me how much."
Xander tells himself that it's only a very manly giggle that he lets escape.
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